SUNDAY'S PORN DAY!

I'll get back to the Dragon Con recap tomorrow because today is Sunday and as we all know — say it with me — "Sunday's porn day!!!" So let's start out with something relatively mild.

FOOT FETISH DAILY 2, presumably a sequel that's vital for answering all the unanswered questions left over from its pedally-oriented precursor.

Yes, it's PLUSH & PLUGGED, for fans of the plus-size ladies.

The tag line about "stuffing their holes" is a bit artless, but at least the gal in question is pretty.

This one is something I would have loved to have seen handled by Toho, the studio that gave us Godzilla in the first place.

Just picture Big G in mortal combat against a gigantic alien ass in the middle of downtown Tokyo... Hey, it would have been better than GODZILLA VS. SPACE GODZILLA (1994), plus it's "monster butt certified," a sure mark of quality.

When modern consumer technology meets porn, you can get idiocy like this:

Yes, you read that right. "TWITTER MY SHITTER." What the fuck does that even mean?

Rockabilly is great and horny hillbilly chicks are a beloved part of Americana, so why not combine the two for a skin flick?

That need has been serviced with the release of FUCKABILLY, a no-brainer title that's so stupid it's brilliant.

Wouldn't it have made more sense to just call this THE XXX TEAM?

Marvel Comics fans, is it just me, or does this look like Emma Frost finally said "Fuck this" to Xavier's academy and answered her true calling as a porn star?

Seriously, I would pay to see a porn flick starring the White Queen, and you know you would too.

Cribbing from ancient mythology, the trope of a horny immortal on the loose is given the tenderloin treatment. I'm sure it most likely bites the big one, but I may have to check this one out.

I have no idea what the fuck this apparent period piece is supposed to be about, but I certainly hope that Great Dane is not one of the performers, if ya know what I mean...

I don't know whether to find this one amusing or sad.

I hope the real Lindsay gets her shit together someday...

In the redundant department is this porn parody of FLAVA OF LOVE.

If not for the restrictions of the FCC, the actual show this is based on would count as full-on porn, so what was the point of this?

It's pretty obvious that this next one was inspired by Tim Burton's take on Lewis Carroll, and I can think of few things that fill me with less of an urge to "drive stick and crash the yogurt truck."

I would, however, very much like to see Alice and some chick made up to look like the Chesire Cat feast on each other's pink delights until their ears bled.

This would have been a perfect cover if the "HD" label didn't cover up dad's ass.

Be that as it may, the tag line of "Teenage Girls Lick Asshole Like Ice Cream" is a classic.

I've always said that women with glasses are hot, and I'm glad to see that there are apparently enough folks out there who feel the same way, so much so that there's the SHOT GLASSES series to cater to the needs of four-eyes fanciers.

The allure of white chicks facing monster black genitalia never gets old, and this cover image blends the emotions of awe and horror on the actress' face to almost cartoonish effect.

Trust me when I tell you that the rhododendron-like bush sported by this actress matched her impressively-ethnic cranial mane.

And lastly, here's the week's winner for best/most ridiculous title:

Yes, it's WAR ON A RACK, a title that my girlfriend declared as being "so wrong that it's almost right."